Mission Log of the Diabolical Baby Brigade

 As Logged By:  Agent Rose   Tooth brushing time is fun Who doesn't love toothpaste flavored like gum? Now my toothpaste has been swapped. And tastes like something Gobbles glopped.   This diabolical cutie will stop it, Without even throwing a fit. Something odd in Daddy's coffee? Or, possibly, all over Mommy's toffee.    "My, my, Rosie.  Do you have another tooth coming in?"   I smile wide.  You bet I do, Mommy!   "That will be tooth number four," she gasps in awe, unable to believe how much I'm growing up.     However, I'm done with her oohing and awing.  Get that toothpaste on the brush and get to work making these baby pearls sparkly.     I'm ready to taste some bubblegum!     "Here you go," Mommy says and scrubs the tiny bristles against my teeth.  I instantly retract and give her a look of disgust.  "What?"  She asks as if she can't understand.   That is not bubb...

 As Logged By:  Agent Chase    Daddy's stuck on the couch. A popped rib bone?  Ooh, ouch! "Be nice to Daddy," Mommy warns. But, I like to take the bull by the horns.    Poke, tickle, stinky toot. One that smells like a mildewed boot. Tears of joy or tears of pain? Okay, we'll snuggle and watch the rain.   "Ugh, it hurts to move," Daddy groans as he inches toward the couch.  One step, pause, two step, pause, three step...........LONG PAUSE.  "All I did was laugh, then I was in pain."   "At me," Mommy reminds him.  "You were laughing at me."   "You dropped the butter and tooted when you bent over to pick it up.  It was funny."  Daddy's defense ends real quick when he tries to laugh again only to wince in pain.  "Ow!"    I keep my laughter silent.  Too bad I was diabolically plotting and missed that.  Mommy always blushes and makes the silliest embarrassed face when she accidentally lets out...

 As Logged By:   Agent West Agent West's Mom   Here comes dinner time And I haven't got any wine. Chocolate will easily suffice  With dinner easily nice.   No time for glitz and glam I've, also, run out of ham. There's always spaghetti waiting Yes, I think that'll be just the thing!   Diabolically Delicious and Easy Spaghetti  Tomato creaminess on noodles    Makes:  Enough for a toddler and a snack for you   Ingredients: 4 oz spaghetti broken into thirds 1 good pinch salt - don't hold back  1 cup pasta sauce - whatever kind you want   And, now, for my secret ingredient.  Are you ready for this?   2 Tablespoons salted butter   Directions: Boil enough water to cook your pasta.  If you have some extra broth, toss some splashes in the pot as well.  It'll add more flavor and some healthy nutrients, too.     Now, as you wait for that water to boil, is the perfect time to ponder the all imp...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose    Birthday parties are the best! I especially love going with Agent West. But, if today's party is for Auntie P, Then why is the costume on me?   Gotten a laugh at my expense has she? Dear, oh dear, silly Auntie P.    She's forgotten I'm a diabolical cutie Capable of making stinky pirate booty.    "Ahoy, ye land lover!"  Auntie P shouts with a mock growl.  "Where be the prisoner?"   "Oh, Aunt P," Mommy chuckles, "you've really outdone yourself this time."   Auntie P shoves her plastic sword straight at Mommy.  "No more dodging the question.  Where be the prisoner?"    "Right here," Daddy intervenes before things get out of hand with Auntie P.  He lifts me into the air, showing off the pirate costume he made me wear.   I must admit, this diabolical cutie didn't mind the outfit at first.  A pirate baby, how diabolically adorable!  But, then they clipped a toy parr...

 As Logged By:  Agent Chase With  The Puppy   The heat has my diaper sweating Worse than a terrible bed wetting Mommy's determined to go blueberry picking Regardless of my screaming and kicking.   What, the Puppy is here, too?! With the entire canine crew. I can still be diabolical today I'll get these dogs dancing better than on Broadway.    "WWWAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"   "We're going, Chase," Mommy declares.  "And that's final!"   She grabs my jumper and heaves it on in one swoop.  I glare up at her, threatening another wail.   "What do you have against picking blueberries, Chase?  Hmm?"   Have you been outside, Mommy?  It's warm enough to melt my diaper.  I've sweated through this one enough to keep Noah's Ark afloat.     I think about wailing again, I really do.  Anything to stop Mommy's plans.     However, I wait.    I wait until she's gotten everything together...

 As Logged By: Agent West   Tooting in bed is always fun. Especially, when the stench makes Mommy run.  Let's kick it up a notch With a moldy butterscotch.   Not stinky enough? I've got more powerful stuff. This diabolical dude is ready To try out my ultimate stink teddy!    PPPHHHHHRRRRRFFFFFTTTTTHHHHHHHT!   "Ugh, West!"  Mommy screeches and grabs her nose.  "That is disgusting."   "It is pretty bad," Daddy tries to say without laughing, though he fails completely.  "I bet it's all those baked beans he ate."   Yes, yes it is Daddy.  They tasted so good and, now, I'm taking full advantage of their gasseous power.    PPPHHHHHRRRRRFFFFFTTTTTHHHHHHHT!   "Eww!  That's it!"  Mommy screams as she runs.  "I can't take the smell anymore!"     Ha!  Another diabolical mission accomplished!  Agent Chase will be proud!  Nothing stops this diabolical dude from stinking up the ...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose  Cousin Molly is back again And her attitude is ready to begin She's already called me fat And I paid her back for that.   What's this?!  She's acting nice? Until she lets loose her mice. I screamed so hard I couldn't nap. Wait till she sees what I drop in her lap!   Summer has sprung and this diabolical cutie is ready for some fun!   A family get together with water slides, slip n' slides, and snow cones, too?  Sign me up, let me get my bathing suit on.   "Thank you for having us over, Grace," Mommy sighs as she leans back in a beach chair.     "We were due for a family reunion," Aunt Grace sighs right next to her.  "And, besides, it was easy when all I had to do was set up the table.  Everyone else brought the food and Charles got everything ready for the kids water fun."   I glance over at Uncle Charles, where he is tying another hose onto a slide.     OOOOHHHHHH!!!!!  ...