Mission Log of the Diabolical Baby Brigade

 As Logged By: Agent Chase   Shower time is so Mommy can relax. She always makes it steam to the max. When will her singing come to an end? My sanity is about to bend!   Bath time for baby, too? What is a diabolical mastermind to do? Should I turn the cold on full blast?  Will that get her screaming real fast?   "Sorry, Chase," Daddy apologizes when I try a pout.  "You know how much Mommy likes to relax when it's her time for a shower."   Yes, of course I know.  I know all about Mommy's special shower time.   "LA!  LA!  LA!  LA!  LA!  LA!  LA!"   Oh, please!  Make it stop!   Mommy is singing and she's getting louder and louder.  Someone, please, make it stop!   I have plenty of stink bombs.  I've even got a toot I've been holding in.  Please, just let me sneak into the bathroom once to set some sort of stink off.  That will stop Mommy's singing.  That will save my eard...

 As Logged By:  Agent West   In the window and along the wall. On my sippy cup and in the hall.  The little bugs lurk everywhere, Including in Mommy's hair.   Can I catch every single one? Or will they attack until I run? This diabolical dude is on a quest I will not stop until I'm the best!    What is taking over my house!?!?!?!?   What are these little, red bugs with black spots?     Are they poisonous?  Will they bite?  AHH!  They're all over the window!  Quick, someone, they're everywhere!   "Ooh, look West," Mommy coos as she guides one onto her finger.  "We've got a ladybug visitor."   Have you looked around, Mommy?  We don't have one.  We have one hundred and one!     She may be fooled by their cute colors, but I won't be so easily tricked.  I'll splat and smack every single one, until I rid the entire house of them!    Look at all of those bugs, crawling up the...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose   An achy head is never fun. Nor is a nose that wants to run. A sore throat makes it hard to eat, I can't even handle my favorite sweet!    Will this bug ever go away? Will I feel like myself at the end of the day? Here comes Mommy to offer some comfort To all of this discomfort.   I'm sorry Agent Chase, I'm sorry Agent West.   My diabolical plans must be delayed.   I'm too sick to think, I'm too sick to scheme.  My achy head makes it hard to move, and my stuffy nose makes my face feel like a swollen balloon.   All I want to do is sleep, but sleep keeps evading me.   My eyelids will droop, just before my nose decides to sound a loud hoot, snoot, toot!  Rolling over doesn't help.  All it does is make me head feel as heavy as an anvil.   Oh, why won't this bug go away!?   "WAAAAHHHHH!  WAAAAAAHHHHH!  WWAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"   "It's okay, Sweetie," Mommy comes hurrying in.  "I'm he...

 As Logged By: Agent Chase  Daylight savings has left this diabolical baby Wishing for a nap, or two, even three.  Maybe? The government said they'd fix it. Why, then, is Mommy buttering my biscuit?   Maybe Gobbles can be diabolical. Except he's not all that maniacal. Sleep, sleep, sleep, I say. I'll be diabolical another day.  Shush!   Too much moving through the house.  Mommy and Daddy, SHUSH!   The sun isn't even out!   "Wakey, wakey, Little Chase," Mommy whispers as she tiptoes closer.  "It's time to get up."   Impossible!  As I said, the sun isn't even out!  How could it possibly be going on eight?  How could...     NO!   I turn my groggy head to the side.  On the night stand, the little clock flashes eight o'clock.  No sun, no cheery birds chirping, no snuggly warm sun rays stretching through my window.  That can only mean one thing.   It's Daylight Savings time.   An...

 As Logged By: Agent West   This job is usually left to Agent Chase. But, today, Agent West is on the case.  Cousin JimJim wants to debate me About something I excel at, he'll see.   The origin of toots? What a complete and diabolical hoot!  If I don't knock him out in the debate I'll throw him a stink he'll really hate.  My glare is set on Cousin JimJim, while my hand hides a stretchy ball disguised stink bomb.   Oh, look.  It's the cousin who always smells like a wet diaper, I sneer.   Cousin JimJim sticks his tongue out at me.   At least I don't look like one.   Admit it, you're wrong and you know it.   I laugh at the thought. There's no possible way JimJim is right.  There's no way that toots are globs of poopy sent down an assembly line where toot elves chop them into itty bitty pieces.  Right?  There couldn't possibly be toot elves hiding inside of me!  That's too crazy a thought, even for Cousin JimJ...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose   All Mommy and Daddy can talk about Has nothing to do with my diabolical pout. Boiling sap over an open flame? Sounds like something crazily insane.   Maple syrup is what we made?! Now, my diabolical plans have strayed. A smoky touch to that delicious sweetness, I'm ready for some pancake completeness!  "Have you cleaned the boiling pans?" "Do you have the skimmer?"   "What about the firewood?  Do Gran and Gramps have enough?"   My eyes open in a fury of blinks.  What on earth is going on with Mommy and Daddy that a diabolical sweetie can't enjoy some extra shut eye?   "Quick, get Rosie.  We need to leave."   Wait, what?  Get Rosie?  No, no, no.  I have diabolical plans for today.  I'm supposed to become ultimately spoiled after using my perfected weapon.  Leaving is not in my plans.  This can't be, this can't work, this can't...   And I'm strapped in my car seat.   ...

 As Logged By: Agent Chase   Mommy was down with a cold, Feeling groggy and very old. Now, she's trying to catch up On her work that's piled up.   Look out, here's Agent Chase! Causing mayhem all over the place.  Distractions here and there Toots and cahoots everywhere!   I've never understood why people are always in such a rush to grow up.   Seriously, why?   So that they can groan and yawn and ache and moan the whole day long, desperately trying to catch up on deadlines like Mommy's doing?   I think I'll stay a little baby, thank you very much.   A diabolical one at that.   Speaking of which...  I'm due for some diabolicalness.  Poor Mommy was nothing short of a gross ball of moaning snot for the last few days.  I felt so sorry for her, that I even delayed a toot bomb maze I had planned for her.  A real stinker of sauerkraut and swiss cheese.  But, now, she's stuck in front of that computer.  Staring at t...