Mission Log of the Diabolical Baby Brigade

 As Logged By: Agent Rose    Birthday parties are the best! I especially love going with Agent West. But, if today's party is for Auntie P, Then why is the costume on me?   Gotten a laugh at my expense has she? Dear, oh dear, silly Auntie P.    She's forgotten I'm a diabolical cutie Capable of making stinky pirate booty.    "Ahoy, ye land lover!"  Auntie P shouts with a mock growl.  "Where be the prisoner?"   "Oh, Aunt P," Mommy chuckles, "you've really outdone yourself this time."   Auntie P shoves her plastic sword straight at Mommy.  "No more dodging the question.  Where be the prisoner?"    "Right here," Daddy intervenes before things get out of hand with Auntie P.  He lifts me into the air, showing off the pirate costume he made me wear.   I must admit, this diabolical cutie didn't mind the outfit at first.  A pirate baby, how diabolically adorable!  But, then they clipped a toy parr...

 As Logged By:  Agent Chase With  The Puppy   The heat has my diaper sweating Worse than a terrible bed wetting Mommy's determined to go blueberry picking Regardless of my screaming and kicking.   What, the Puppy is here, too?! With the entire canine crew. I can still be diabolical today I'll get these dogs dancing better than on Broadway.    "WWWAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"   "We're going, Chase," Mommy declares.  "And that's final!"   She grabs my jumper and heaves it on in one swoop.  I glare up at her, threatening another wail.   "What do you have against picking blueberries, Chase?  Hmm?"   Have you been outside, Mommy?  It's warm enough to melt my diaper.  I've sweated through this one enough to keep Noah's Ark afloat.     I think about wailing again, I really do.  Anything to stop Mommy's plans.     However, I wait.    I wait until she's gotten everything together...

 As Logged By: Agent West   Tooting in bed is always fun. Especially, when the stench makes Mommy run.  Let's kick it up a notch With a moldy butterscotch.   Not stinky enough? I've got more powerful stuff. This diabolical dude is ready To try out my ultimate stink teddy!    PPPHHHHHRRRRRFFFFFTTTTTHHHHHHHT!   "Ugh, West!"  Mommy screeches and grabs her nose.  "That is disgusting."   "It is pretty bad," Daddy tries to say without laughing, though he fails completely.  "I bet it's all those baked beans he ate."   Yes, yes it is Daddy.  They tasted so good and, now, I'm taking full advantage of their gasseous power.    PPPHHHHHRRRRRFFFFFTTTTTHHHHHHHT!   "Eww!  That's it!"  Mommy screams as she runs.  "I can't take the smell anymore!"     Ha!  Another diabolical mission accomplished!  Agent Chase will be proud!  Nothing stops this diabolical dude from stinking up the ...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose  Cousin Molly is back again And her attitude is ready to begin She's already called me fat And I paid her back for that.   What's this?!  She's acting nice? Until she lets loose her mice. I screamed so hard I couldn't nap. Wait till she sees what I drop in her lap!   Summer has sprung and this diabolical cutie is ready for some fun!   A family get together with water slides, slip n' slides, and snow cones, too?  Sign me up, let me get my bathing suit on.   "Thank you for having us over, Grace," Mommy sighs as she leans back in a beach chair.     "We were due for a family reunion," Aunt Grace sighs right next to her.  "And, besides, it was easy when all I had to do was set up the table.  Everyone else brought the food and Charles got everything ready for the kids water fun."   I glance over at Uncle Charles, where he is tying another hose onto a slide.     OOOOHHHHHH!!!!!  ...

 As Logged By:  Agent Chase    Mommy has surprised me with a dog Scaring Gobbles until he looks like a frog.  A temporary stay still sounds too long. Sniffle, sniffle, something's wrong!   My eyes won't stop tearing  Is it allergies that I'm fearing? Agent West!  Agent Rose! Please, oh please, help my nose!  "Woof!  Woof!  Woof!"   "Gobble, gobble!"   "WOOF!"   What is this that I hear?  A dog barking somewhere near?   Is this canine in the house?  Apparently, for my baby, Gobbles, is running about.  He's screeching and gobbling and running into the furniture.     What, oh what, is going on?  "Good morning, Chase.  Look!"  Mommy announces with excitement.  "We have a visitor."   I look where Mommy is pointing.  Twirling in circles and trying to catch her tail is a pup I've seen once before.   "Tootles is going to be staying with us for the whole weekend!...

 As Logged By: Agent West   He dreamed to fly and soar. He loved to hear the engine's roar. He wanted to be in the sky, Even after they said he couldn't fly.   I love to hear Uncle Rex's tale I promise not to toot or wail.  One may escape, but I really want to hear About his discovered talent from that year.      "West," Mommy says with her warning tone.  "Be nice to Uncle Rex."   Uncle Rex?  Uncle Rex?    Have I heard of this Uncle Rex?   Should I get some stink bombs ready, or a special toot that'll make him hoot?  Who is this Uncle Rex?   "He's very old, so no wise tricks.  Got it, Mister?"  She stares down with that frightening, widened glare.   As fast as I can, I scooch and crawl.  Out of the kitchen and through the hall.  I look in the living room, I look in the dining room.  I blow a spit bubble, but, still, I see no sign of this Uncle Rex.   VRROOOOMMMMM!!!!   The ...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose    My first time gardening on Mother's Day Was such fun that I shouted, "Hurray!" Colorful tulips were planted here and there So many, it could feed a bear!   I can't stop looking at the cute bunny He's acting so adorably funny. Until he eats a tulip in one chomp! This baby's mad!  I'm about to stomp!    Look at those beauties!  Look at them!   Red, purple, and blue.  Plus yellow, orange, and multicolored, too!   It's a carpet of tulips!  So many I could go for a swim, so many it looks like a never ending sea, so many it could feed a bear.  Well, maybe.  I decided to put aside my diabolical side this Mother's Day and helped Mommy in the flower beds.  I could have thrown dirt down her pants, I could have hidden her tools so she couldn't find them, but I didn't do any of it.  This diabolical sweetie decided to just be a cute, normal sweetie for the day.   And I am so glad I did! ...