Mission Log of the Diabolical Baby Brigade

 As Logged By:  Agent Rose   A new tooth is making its way It may even come out today! So much teething has me drooling All over April's home schooling.   A goodbye hug is so, so cute Even when I make a little toot. Then my gums need to gnaw on someone's antique shawl!   "Do you see it?"   "I see it!  I see it!"   Mommy is pointing her finger right in my mouth with babysitter, April, oohing and ahhing all about.    What do they see?  Have you taken a guess?   Yep, it's a tooth.  A tooth that has yet to come out.  A tooth that is hurting and hurting.  Its pointy end is pushing against my gums, it's about to break through.   What does that mean for this little cutie?   "Ugh, Rosie, you're drooling again."   Mommy wipes off my mouth and I can't help but pout.  I'm not meaning to drool.  You try dealing with this pain, Mommy.  I bet you won't last a day, nor an hour, not even a minute! ...

 As Logged By: Agent Chase    Mommy's got the pictures out And I'm ready to just shout.   Bored, bored, bored am I Staring out the window at the sky.   Alone with pictures is dangerous When I'm making such a fuss. Mommy will simply scream When she sees the result of my scheme.     "Look at this adorable photo, Chase."  Mommy holds the picture in my direction without checking to see if  I am looking.  "This is when we dressed you up for Christmas photos after you were born."   I give a great yawn, though she doesn't notice.   I'm bored.  Bored, bored, bored!     So bored!   Mommy has been at this for two hours.  Sorting photos before gluing them in her picture book.     Meanwhile, I'm stuck by the window with nothing else to do but stare at the sky, at a rock, at the grass, at my toy truck.  Everything that is outside.  Where I would love to be.   "Ooh!  Here'...

As Logged By:  Agent West    Mommy has me in the shade As I chew on a grass blade. A dart gun in one hand As I fill something with sand.   Here comes the crazy lady That despises this little baby. Should Mommy give her a cookie? Oh, that poor, crazy rookie...   Ah, nothing like life on the farm.   Well, Grams and Gramp's farm, that is.  And I'm here sittin' in the shade while chewing on a grass blade.   Okay, okay...   That's not all that I'm doing.     Mommy's made me a nice spot under this tree.  Complete with a blanket, some toys, a few snack treats, a take-along sandbox, and...  her purse.   Both the one with the special cards inside that make it so she can spend all the money she pleases and the one filled with many, many delicious snacks.  The very snacks that I'm not allowed to touch until Grams, Gramps, and Mommy finish putting plants in those boxes full of dirt.   Sooooooooooo...   If I'm ...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose    The 1960s had some lookers But the kid car's a cooker! This baby's behind is sweating More than Daddy's probably betting.    No, we can't leave quite yet Not when the car ride's all set! This cutie has her sunglasses shining And Mommy's forgotten about whining.   The cars are all parked side by side and this diabolical cutie can't make up her mind!     This one is purple, that one is bright blue.  They all look so gorgeous.  I just love old cars!  I do, I do, I do!!!!!   "What is this little car?"  Daddy asks as we come to a stop.  Jutting his head forward, he squints and then double checks.  "Is that Mini Mouse at the wheel?"   "Indeed it is!"  Declares the man sitting next to the kiddie sized car.  "Does your little one want to have a seat inside?"   "YES!"  Mommy spouts while already getting her phone out.  "Oh, this is going to be perfect.  ...

 As Logged By: Agent Chase     I've been wrapped and swaddled And definitely don't feel coddled. Now a camera is in my face And flashing all over the place.   Mommy's hair is looking cute And Daddy's staying mute. I think I'll have some fun And send the photographer on a run.    Oomph!  Eek!     This thing is wrapped around me so tight that I can barely breathe!   "Are you sure she's comfortable?"  Daddy hesitantly asks.   "UGH!  Of course," Mommy groans, "babies love to be swaddled.  Chase is just being ornery."   Swaddled, yes.  Wrapped this tight?  NO!    "Is that your baby's name?  Chase?"  Asks a young man carrying a camera.     Wait a minute!  What's that camera for?  We're not taking pictures again, are we?  We've already been through this, just a month ago.  Why do you need so many pictures?  Aren't three or four enough!?!?!? ...

 As Logged By: Agent West    A Mommy's afternoon luncheon Has me feeling stuck in a dungeon. A chicken salad croissant Is not what I want.   A scone is all I get to eat. While I itch in my seat. Gurgle, gurgle, with every bite. Something's not sitting right.    I'm stuck in a high-chair with a blue polka dotted bow-tie.     How in diabolical names did I get stuck here?   First it was a horse show with a mock cowboy outfit, now I look like a silly billy at some fancy shmancy...  thing.   What is this thing I've been dragged to?   It isn't lunch and it can't be snack.  No one with half a brain would eat whatever that grey stuff on the cracker is.  All the mommies are dressed in old fashioned dresses and nearly every other baby was smart enough to pretend to be sick to get out of coming to this.     "Oh, dearest Tanya," Mommy breathlessly talks like someone from those corny romance novels she hides in...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose    A moment of comfy quiet Has turned into quite the riot! Buzz, buzz, hum, HUM! Is there a rocket near my eardrum?   Now someone is completely trapped And Mommy's almost snapped. Is there a way to save this little one? Can an Iris get it done?    Oh, yes.  This little cutie is ready for a nap.   Mommy and Daddy are working outside.  They're pulling weeds and trimming trees.  They're hauling mulch and planting pots.  Enough to make them drip, drip, drip with sweat.   Did I consider using this moment to my advantage?  Did I feel the urge to sneak in a diabolical catastrophe?    Of course!   I am a member of the Diabolical Drei, after all.   Then, I remembered that I have a birthday coming up and there is a big, big, BIG teddy bear that I would love for them to buy.  So, I'll give them a break this one single time.  That, and I really don't want to get all their sweat o...