Farting in Their Face While They Sleep

As Logged By:

Agent West

 

Mommy thinks it's so adorable

When she takes a nap with me.

Let's not forget that I'm abominable

And I love acting diabolically.

 

When Mommy is fast asleep,

I scoot to her face real slowly

And without making a peep

Until my smelly wind comes blowing.

 

Agent Rose has me thinking, a dangerous thing for someone as suspicious as me.  She is so good at looking cute and nails it so perfectly.  And then turns it around on her Mommy and Daddy by doing something most diabolically.

I'll dare to bet that I can pull off looking cute, too.  And do something truly diabolical.  Something that'll make me abominably proud.

"Okay, Little West.  It's time for your cute tushy to take a nap," Mommy interrupts my thoughts before lulling me to sleep.

I wake with a shock.  A realization, if you please.  My tushy is CUTE!  Mommy said so, you see.  

Speaking of Mommy, I know where she is.  Why, she's right beside me.  For nap time for Little West (and his CUTE tushy) is nap time for Mommy, too.  Has been for weeks.  Will be for many more.

Ugh, this gas is killing me.

An idea comes to me.  One so maniacally sweet, it is borderline prime evil.  Surely, I'm not that terrible.  What would Agent Rose think?  

Ah, just do it, my diabolical side declares.  Take advantage of that cute tushy.  Use it, I dare! 

And, so, I will!

While Mommy's fast asleep, I carefully wriggle and scooch higher on the bed.  Just a few inches more.  I'm almost there.

Yes!  I have myself in position.  My tushy aimed at Mommy's face.  All that I have left to do is take a breath and relax.  My tushy and its cuteness will take the cue.

THBPTTTTT

Oh, man!  That was a loud one!  I didn't know my tushy could make that loud of a sound.  And, yet, what's this?  Mommy's still asleep?  Are you telling me that my stink didn't phase her sleeping state at all?  Not one bit?

Oh really, Mommy?  Was my fart not intense enough to wake you?  How about this one!

THBPTTTT!!!!!

Previous Log:  A Cuddle and a Smack

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Diabolical cabbage and beans

Throwing food? I'll give it a try!

Diabolically stealing my leftovers