Stirring a Poopy Potty

-

As Logged By:

Agent West

 

When something is stinky

I want to stir every last bit.

Shall I use only my pinky

Or dunk my whole hand into the mix?

 

Do I stir poopy for pleasure

Or to enhance my diabolical side?

My poopy does look like a treasure

Just waiting for me to see what's inside.

 

Well, that does it.  Mommy has bought me a potty.

"I can't stand the idea of cleaning one more poopy diaper," I heard Mommy confess one night.  I won't lie, hearing that made me smile with glee.

You see, I take great pride in making my poopy extra messy.  It takes diabolical skill to fall on the ground at just the right angle to get my poopy to splatter and smear everywhere in my diaper.  What a mess Mommy and Daddy have on their hands!  Oh, how I love acting so diabolically bad.

Never did I imagine, though, that she would stoop to buying me a potty.  Agent Rose may love hers, but I prefer making things messy, not keeping them neat.

Mommy places the potty on the floor next to me.

"Okay, Little Buddy.  Let's give this potty a try."

Excuse me?  I don't think so!  You can take off my diaper.  You can place me on the potty. And you can wait all you want, but I won't go poopy.  I won't!  I won't!!  I won't!!!

Oh, shoot...

I just did.

"Hurray!  That's a good boy, West.  You make Mommy proud!"

I may have made you proud, but what about Agent Chase and Agent Rose?  They won't call this being diabolical.  There must be something I can do.  Some way to redeem my diabolicallness to the full extent!

A smell catches my nose and makes me shiver.  Is that my poopy lingering in the air?  Did I cause that horrifically fresh smell of stink?

I crawl over while Mommy is distracted and take a peek at the poopy inside.

Huh...

It's just a little mound of mush.  A blob of orange and brown.

Huh...

It sorta looks like that food Mommy's been feeding me.  The stuff that comes in a jar and tastes of squash and pumpkin, I believe.  I wonder if this poopy would be just as much fun to play with.  I wonder if it tastes the same.

I crawl closer and dunk my hand into the potty.  Ooh!  The poopy squeezes between my fingers.  Making a squishing sound as it does.  And it's nice and warm, too!

Hehe!  This is fun!  And I start to stir it around.  Quite vigorously.

"NO!"  Mommy comes running, her face paling as she sees my hand in the potty and poopy all over it.

What?  You didn't want me to do that?

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Diabolical cabbage and beans

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent Chase With   The Puppy The Puppy was right, I admit There was no way to go through with it. Getting everyone to eat cabbage and beans Would have been impossible, by all means. However, we’ve devised another plan. In this temporary truce between dog and man. The Puppy has many friends, you see. Who are willing to eat cabbage and beans, whoo wee!     For weeks I have been saving every scrap of Mommy’s famous cabbage and beans dish, keeping none for myself.  (Not that I want any after the last gas catastrophe.) The toy bin is filled to the rim and it’s starting to smell, but the Puppy reassures me that his friends will still dig in. “Oh, Marge, this was a wonderful idea,” one of Mommy’s friends says as she waves her hand around. “A block party for everyone and their dog. How did you think of it?” “It’s the funniest thing. I saw Chase playing with a magazine that happened to have an article about throwing one of these.”
Read more

Throwing food? I'll give it a try!

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent Rose Please! Don’t mention eating. Not after Agent Chase’s stink infested beating. Cabbage and beans! Were there no other ways? The stink never ended for days and days! My tummy is tumbling and swirling. I fear anything I eat, I’ll end up hurling. But, I do love being a sweetie that’s diabolical. Especially, when I can do something so maniacal!     Agent Chase is going to get a stink bomb in the face! Joining with the Puppy!? Of all the diabolical schemes. She should have known that teaming up with the Puppy would make her diabolical plans explode. “Okay, Rosie. Time for some dinner.” Dinner? No way! My tummy is still too tender for any dinner. “Come on, Sweetie. You need to eat or you’ll get grumpy.” I stare at Daddy with the angriest of angry faces. Grumpy!? Does he have any idea what horrors I’ve been through? Just thinking of it makes my tummy tumble some more. The stink of dog doodie
Read more

Crazy plant lady Mommy

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent West   Why is Mommy sneaking around Like a thief stealing steaks by the pound? What is that in her hand? A seed catalogue named Plant Land? Should I follow this crazy looney Who’s humming an interesting tuney? I’m scared to see what she’s up to. Especially, when she’s talking to Aunt Sue. What in diabolical diaper names is going on? I’m so confused, I’m completely pooped out. Something is wrong with Mommy. Something’s snapped, for sure! She’s gone batty, insane. She’s sipped one too many, eaten her last sanity cookie! Don’t believe me? “Here’s the mail,” Dad calls as he comes in the door and slaps a wad of folded papers onto the dining table. Bills, letters, nothing interesting of the sort. No diabolical packages. No stink bomb greeting cards. “Where is it?!” Mommy frantically races into the room with her phone to her ear and claws through the pile of mail. Her mouth practically foaming! “I can’t find it,
Read more