Getting Even with Tissues
As Logged By:
Agent Chase
Rule number one for parents,
Especially those with a diabolical baby,
Don't give us good merit
to act out terribly.
But Daddy has forgotten
And now I must get him back.
Should I use food that is rotten?
Or tissues for my attack?
I have been waiting for an hour for Daddy to pretend that he's my horsey. I'm ready with hat on my head, but this baby, this diabolical baby, is still missing her horsey!
I huff and glare up at Daddy as he plays on the computer.
"Just a few more minutes," Daddy promises, but this baby is done waiting.
I'm sorry, Daddy. Now I must get even!
Where are the tissues? I'll pull and yank every last one out of that little box until the floor is nothing more than a sprawled out pile of fluff.
Oh dear...
I look all the way up at the top of Daddy's computer desk, where the box of tissues rest just out of reach. Who puts tissues on a desk? Why can't they put the box on the floor?
But, never fear! This is a diabolical baby, after all. A mastermind of diabolical deeds!
Acting swiftly, I crawl over to my toy bin. Not once do I make a sound. Not once do I make my mission clear. When Daddy turns his head to check on me, I quickly resume my sitting position. The glare returning to my face.
"Daddy's going to need just a few more minutes, Sweetheart. I'm sorry this is taking so long."
Oh, that's fine Daddy. Take your time. Take all the time you need... Mwahahahaha!
I catch myself just before I started to laugh out loud and get going on my diabolical plan. I grab the large, plastic candy cane left over from the holidays. Okay... So I have found that dragging a large candy cane while crawling is a little harder than I planned it. Rest assured, this baby's will is stronger than you might think.
Oof... Uh... Err... Phoo...
I made it!
I need to catch my breath!
One more second.
Okay.
Let me see now... If I hold onto the desk for balance and swing this large candy cane just right, then...
BINGO!!!
"What cha doin', Sweetie?" Daddy looks over when he hears a noise, but I've already plopped down on my behind and have resumed the annoyed glare. Never does he notice the tissue box just a few feet away from me.
"I promise. I'll be done real soon." And Daddy turns his attention back to the computer.
Sucker!
Out comes the first tissue! Out comes a few more! The ground becomes a mass of fluffy white! It's snowing in June!
Every last one is yanked and thrown. Every last tissue now covers the floor.
"Chase! What have you done?!"
Just completing my diabolical deed.
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