Mission Log of the Diabolical Baby Brigade

 As Logged By: Agent West Midnight is around the corner And I have a big one coming. I could be nice to Mommy and warn her, But that wouldn't be very cunning. A diaper makes a great New Year's hat, If I can get it over my head. What if there's a poopy in my hat? Could I still put it on my head? "In ten minutes, we'll be reigning in the New Year..." Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everybody's so excited about the coming new year.  Party hats are adorned on every head and apple juice that looks a little bubbly is being poured around.  Yet, I'm in my crib! What was my crime? I snuck a sip of the bubbly apple juice (which didn't taste like juice at all).  There might have also been some gagging and puking, but that was not on purpose. Honest! Now I'm here, where I don't want to be.  This diabolical dude is going to make Mommy and Daddy sorry. Should I steal their bubbled apple juice and hide it somewhere devilishly sneaky or prank call someone, like Daddy...

 As Logged By: Agent Rose Traveling can get tricky When the family has a baby. I don't consider myself picky, But this crib is too shabby.   Where does baby sleep then? Between Mommy and Daddy, of course. The perfect spot for when I throw a punch with full force.   Hehehe!   I can't believe I fooled my parents into getting me out of that crib.  Yes, it was lumpy and bumpy, but I have slept through worse and not missed a second of my cutey sleep.   But how could I miss out on this golden opportunity?  After listening to Mommy and Daddy drone on and on in the long car ride, one thing became clear:  they have to have a sound sleep tonight. Sooooo....  It would be most diabolical if this sweetie were to "accidentally" throw her arm out and punch them in the face, right? Exactly! And I'll do it all without making a sound. I shimmy and scooch my cute kaboos over to Mommy.  She is sleeping most soundly, a touch of drool hanging from her lip....

 As Logged By: Agent Chase My nose is all stuffy It's a snotty mess. I want to hold something puffy. Where's my horsey, Mommy?  Confess!   Oh, my achy head! Give me some soup And send me to bed. Of course, I might then poop.   Dash it all!   How could I catch a cold not two days before I was supposed to carry out an all infamous fart display?  Oh, it would have been brilliant with a fart bomb of a different stench going off in every room.  Mommy and Daddy would have been left gagging for sure!   Instead, I'm lying in my crib with a head that feels like it's stuck in a tightened vise and a nose that can't decide if it wants to run or stuff up.   All I want right now is to snuggle up with my horsey, Giddyup, but Mommy put him in the wash.  That was three days ago, though!  WHERE'S MY HORSEY!   Note to self:  Must have a mission to find Giddyup and, then, diabolically get back at Mommy.   "How about some chicken noodle s...

As Logged By: Agent West   She spit a loogie in Molly's hair And drank tea most diabolically. She embraced my farting teddy bear And caught a rainbow magically.   Her smile is the best. No one can refuse this. Yes, yes, yes. I've grown accustomed to her cuteness.   Just stop it with the 'oohs' and 'ahs' before I slap you with Mommy's phone.  Or, worse, I'll find a loaded diaper to hurl at you.   The farting teddy bear gave my secret away, didn't it?  Don't lie to me.  I know it did.  How could I help it?  She's just so darn cute.  And quite beautifully diabolical, too!   Who else could make their father's shoe swim with the fishies?  Or trick their parents into doing her will simply by sleeping?   Yes, Agent Rose is the glisten in my spit bubble.  The rosebud in my poopy.   Now, for the dilemma:   Exactly how should this diabolical dude become the sparkle in her eye?  She's not just some ordinary baby....