A New Year's poopy

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 As Logged By:


Agent West


Midnight is around the corner

And I have a big one coming.

I could be nice to Mommy and warn her,

But that wouldn't be very cunning.


A diaper makes a great New Year's hat,

If I can get it over my head.

What if there's a poopy in my hat?

Could I still put it on my head?


"In ten minutes, we'll be reigning in the New Year..."

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Everybody's so excited about the coming new year.  Party hats are adorned on every head and apple juice that looks a little bubbly is being poured around.  Yet, I'm in my crib!

What was my crime?

I snuck a sip of the bubbly apple juice (which didn't taste like juice at all).  There might have also been some gagging and puking, but that was not on purpose.

Honest!

Now I'm here, where I don't want to be.  This diabolical dude is going to make Mommy and Daddy sorry.

Should I steal their bubbled apple juice and hide it somewhere devilishly sneaky or prank call someone, like Daddy's boss, and fart into the phone?  What if I...

Ugh!

I need to go poopy.

Whew!  There's no holding this bad boy in.  This poopy's coming out.  It's a New Year's poopy!  Let the countdown begin!

Five, four, three..

THRPPT!  

Oopsies.  I just poopied.  

Wait a minute.  Wait a minute!  My eyes widen as a most diabolical scheme pops into my head.  Could I really go through with it, though?  Am I that terribly abominable?

Uh, duh!

Let's get this diabolical party started!

I work and pull to undo my diaper.  My adorable belly fat, though, keeps getting in the way.  Okay, suck it in... and... diaper is officially unsnapped.

The problem with being a baby, I'm just now learning, is that your arms are not long enough to reach all the way over your enormous head.  But, this diabolical dude will not give up.  Come rain or shine, bottles or sippy cups, I will get this diaper over my head!

I swing, I heave, I ho, I hum.

Here comes Mommy just in time to see my smelly New Year's hat thrown right in place.

"West?!!!"  She screams just as a glob of stinky brown drips down.


Previous Log:  Night punches

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