The Puppy strikes back

-

 As Logged By:


Agent Chase


He came ready to chase his tail

And fetch the curve ball that I threw,

But this diabolical baby won't fail.

I still have a trick or two.


If only his hair wasn't so fluffy

And my eyes feeling so heavy.

It must be the remnants of being stuffy

Making me dream of a 5-speed Chevy.


He's baaaaack...
 
After a night of tossing and turning with barely a wink of shut eye, who should I find chasing his tail on my floor... than... the... Puppy!!!

I set my glare at maximum and what does that puppy do?

Why, he just stands there looking as innocent as can be.  His tongue hanging out and his slobber dripping and flipping toward me.

Oh, you think you're so clever, Puppy.  I'm on to your act.  You're not going to fool me this time.  I won't be hypnotized by his yipping.  I won't get distracted by his fluffy hair.  No, no, no.  Today is the day that I set my diabolical plan into action.  Today, I shall get the Puppy at his own game of irresistible adorableness.

"Woof!"  He exclaims right back at me and went back to chasing his tail, seemingly without a care about me.  But I see those flicks of his eyes,  the slight tilt of his head and lifting of his ear.  He's watching me.  He's preparing for my next move.

Hmmm...

I must approach this with care.  I can't give away any clues to my diabolical scheme.

Maybe a little pretend distraction might just prove enough to make the Puppy forget about me.

"Did you hear the Johnsons are remodeling that old car?"

"What?  I thought it was rusted through."

Ahh, a little boring gossip.  Sure thing, I can pretend that some dribble drabble about cars interests me.

I crawl to the kitchen door and plop down on the carpet, feigning interest in whatever Mommy and her friend have to say.  Something about a Chevy, something about a 5-speed.

"I don't understand why they don't..."

Ugh, this gossip is proving more boring that tasteless soup on burnt toast, but the sound of the Puppy sniffing his way toward me and a tail thumping nearby forces me to keep my act going.  No matter how boring their chit chat might be.

My eyes slowly close the longer I pretend to listen.  The Puppy fading in and out of my consciousness, when what do I suddenly see?  A beautiful 2021 Chevy Corvette.  A 5-speed, no less.  I'm shifting gears and speeding by.  Ooh, there's a 1969 Stingray version.  Another beautiful specimen.

"Oh, look.  They're snuggling."

Huh?  My eyes twitch but refuse to open just yet.  Who's snuggling?  What happened to my 5-speed?

My pillow rustles and my eyes open to a mass of fluffy hair.  Is that the Puppy snoring right next to me?

"Ah, are you enjoying snuggling with your little friend, Chase?"

FRIEND!?!!?

Bested at my own game.  Drat!

Next time, Puppy.  Next time.


Upcoming Log:  A nip and a bite
Previous Log:  A New Year's poopy


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Diabolical cabbage and beans

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent Chase With   The Puppy The Puppy was right, I admit There was no way to go through with it. Getting everyone to eat cabbage and beans Would have been impossible, by all means. However, we’ve devised another plan. In this temporary truce between dog and man. The Puppy has many friends, you see. Who are willing to eat cabbage and beans, whoo wee!     For weeks I have been saving every scrap of Mommy’s famous cabbage and beans dish, keeping none for myself.  (Not that I want any after the last gas catastrophe.) The toy bin is filled to the rim and it’s starting to smell, but the Puppy reassures me that his friends will still dig in. “Oh, Marge, this was a wonderful idea,” one of Mommy’s friends says as she waves her hand around. “A block party for everyone and their dog. How did you think of it?” “It’s the funniest thing. I saw Chase playing with a magazine that happened to have an article about throwing one of these.”
Read more

Throwing food? I'll give it a try!

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent Rose Please! Don’t mention eating. Not after Agent Chase’s stink infested beating. Cabbage and beans! Were there no other ways? The stink never ended for days and days! My tummy is tumbling and swirling. I fear anything I eat, I’ll end up hurling. But, I do love being a sweetie that’s diabolical. Especially, when I can do something so maniacal!     Agent Chase is going to get a stink bomb in the face! Joining with the Puppy!? Of all the diabolical schemes. She should have known that teaming up with the Puppy would make her diabolical plans explode. “Okay, Rosie. Time for some dinner.” Dinner? No way! My tummy is still too tender for any dinner. “Come on, Sweetie. You need to eat or you’ll get grumpy.” I stare at Daddy with the angriest of angry faces. Grumpy!? Does he have any idea what horrors I’ve been through? Just thinking of it makes my tummy tumble some more. The stink of dog doodie
Read more

Diabolically stealing my leftovers

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent West I could have sworn there was more stew With delicious beef that cleared my blues. But when Mommy opened the fridge There was none for me to binge! What about a grilled cheese? Smashed, loaded, and coated to please. Is there any more of that? Or is Mommy sneaking some in her hat?     Oh, the hunger pains. The growling tummy, the rumbling stomach. If I don’t eat soon, the gas will come forth. Not the funny toots in Mommy’s face gas, either. But, painful, stuck in your tummy and refusing to come out or budge gas that can only be cured with chamomile tea. Agent Rose may love it, but I’m a diabolical dude! I want my beef stew! Where is it, Mommy? Don’t make me beg. Don’t make me cry. Don’t make me let out a toot that’ll knock your socks to the moon! “Are you hungry, West?” Mommy coos, completely oblivious to the hungry beast about to be unleashed. “Ah!” I let out as a warning and point to the fridge.
Read more