Stink, stink everywhere

-

 As Logged By:


Agent Chase


Stink, stink everywhere!

Not a drop of fresh air.

It's in my mouth and in my hair.

A stink that's more than I can bear!


Mommy was supposed to get sprayed,

But, somehow, the target became me.

Now my nerves are frayed

And I'm as sick as can be.


Oh, the calamity!

The catastrophe!

A horrible monstrosity of abominable stenches is upon me!

To trip over my own two feet at the precise moment that I let my Stink Infested Dousing Gun 2000 rip.  The very same second that I pulled the trigger.  Oh, I hang my head in shame.

Karma?

I wouldn't doubt it.

And who should be the victim of this cataclysmic disaster?  Not Mommy dearest, who has moved on from sanity cookies to the more delectable chocolate truffle.  No, no, no, no.  The intended victim of the Stink Infested Dousing Gun 2000 has been spared.

For the new victim is now me!

All thanks to this baby having two left feet.

Oh, make the smell go away.  Toots I can handle.  Rotten eggs I can bear.  Anything but rum cake and lemon.  Put the two together and my stomach is churning.  My skin is paling.

And there is nowhere to run.  Nowhere to hide.  Everywhere I go, the stench is right there.  It has clung to my clothes and stuck to the follicles of my hair.  Everything reeks of the vaporous rum cake and sour tanged lemon.

Watch out everyone!  Dinner is coming up!

BLLEEEAAAAHHHHHHHH!

"Oh, Chase!  You poor thing."  Mommy cradles me in her arms while Daddy pinches his nose.

"She puked on the rug," he dares to complain.

You're lucky I'm sick, Daddy, or you'd be victim number two!  Shall I mark you to be sprayed with my Stink Infested Dousing Gun 2000 (Heaven forbid I spray myself a second time) or just go ahead and puke again?  This time on you!

Here it comes...

"AHHHH!"  He yells when some left over dinner spews all over his new sweater.  "She puked on me!"

"Deal with it and clean it up."  Mommy lifts an eyebrow that dares Daddy to make one more complaint.
 
Hehehe.

I definitely get my diabolical mastermind side from Mommy.


Upcoming Log:  The missing sippy cup

Previous Log:  It was Mommy

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Diabolical cabbage and beans

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent Chase With   The Puppy The Puppy was right, I admit There was no way to go through with it. Getting everyone to eat cabbage and beans Would have been impossible, by all means. However, we’ve devised another plan. In this temporary truce between dog and man. The Puppy has many friends, you see. Who are willing to eat cabbage and beans, whoo wee!     For weeks I have been saving every scrap of Mommy’s famous cabbage and beans dish, keeping none for myself.  (Not that I want any after the last gas catastrophe.) The toy bin is filled to the rim and it’s starting to smell, but the Puppy reassures me that his friends will still dig in. “Oh, Marge, this was a wonderful idea,” one of Mommy’s friends says as she waves her hand around. “A block party for everyone and their dog. How did you think of it?” “It’s the funniest thing. I saw Chase playing with a magazine that happened to have an article about throwing one of these.”
Read more

Throwing food? I'll give it a try!

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent Rose Please! Don’t mention eating. Not after Agent Chase’s stink infested beating. Cabbage and beans! Were there no other ways? The stink never ended for days and days! My tummy is tumbling and swirling. I fear anything I eat, I’ll end up hurling. But, I do love being a sweetie that’s diabolical. Especially, when I can do something so maniacal!     Agent Chase is going to get a stink bomb in the face! Joining with the Puppy!? Of all the diabolical schemes. She should have known that teaming up with the Puppy would make her diabolical plans explode. “Okay, Rosie. Time for some dinner.” Dinner? No way! My tummy is still too tender for any dinner. “Come on, Sweetie. You need to eat or you’ll get grumpy.” I stare at Daddy with the angriest of angry faces. Grumpy!? Does he have any idea what horrors I’ve been through? Just thinking of it makes my tummy tumble some more. The stink of dog doodie
Read more

Diabolically stealing my leftovers

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent West I could have sworn there was more stew With delicious beef that cleared my blues. But when Mommy opened the fridge There was none for me to binge! What about a grilled cheese? Smashed, loaded, and coated to please. Is there any more of that? Or is Mommy sneaking some in her hat?     Oh, the hunger pains. The growling tummy, the rumbling stomach. If I don’t eat soon, the gas will come forth. Not the funny toots in Mommy’s face gas, either. But, painful, stuck in your tummy and refusing to come out or budge gas that can only be cured with chamomile tea. Agent Rose may love it, but I’m a diabolical dude! I want my beef stew! Where is it, Mommy? Don’t make me beg. Don’t make me cry. Don’t make me let out a toot that’ll knock your socks to the moon! “Are you hungry, West?” Mommy coos, completely oblivious to the hungry beast about to be unleashed. “Ah!” I let out as a warning and point to the fridge.
Read more