Midnight toots

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 As Logged By:


Agent Rose


Pretending to have a scary dream

Is easy. All I have to do is scream!

When Daddy comes to comfort me,

I’ll have a toot as stinky as can be.


But for this plan to truly work

I have to drive them completely berserk!

Into their bed I shall join them

But, wait! Is this Daddy causing mayhem?

 

 

There’s nothing better than beauty sleep for this cuddly sweetie.


Except, of course, tooty sleep that drives Mommy and Daddy crazy.


I have waited patiently to get to two a.m. Now it’s time to begin my simply diabolical plan. Simply simple, simply cute, and simply, simply stinky.


I take a deep breath, I open wide, and I let out the loudest scream. One that makes the kitty want to run and hide.


“WAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! WAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!”


“I’m coming, Rose. I’m coming,” Daddy calls from the hall. “Oof, ow!” He trips over a not-so-forgotten toy and falls.


Into the room, Daddy rushes to get me.


“Were you having a scary dream, Sweetie?” He asks as he picks me up.


I widen my eyes and stick out my lower lip, letting it tremble just a little bit.


“Oh, Rosie, don’t cry. Daddy’s got you,” he comforts and lays me on his shoulder for a hug.


Okay, here it goes…


One, two, three!


PHHRRRTHHHWWWWWAAAAUUGGGHHTTT!


Daddy freezes in his gentle pat-pats. “Did you just rip a big one on me?” Before he can move, the stink comes straight for him. “Ugh! That smells rotten!” He cringes. “What did you eat?”


“What’s going on?” Mommy comes into the room. Her nose crinkling at the stink fuming her way. “It smells awful in here! Did you do that?” She asks of Daddy.


“It wasn’t me. It was Rosie.”


Mommy puckers her lips, but she easily buys it. She’s smelled my toots and poops enough times to know I’m capable of the stench curling through the air right now. “She can’t sleep in here. It smells too awful.”


“She’ll be fine,” Daddy insists. That’s when I turn the water works on full blast.


“WAH! WAH! WAH! WAH!”


“No, she’s too upset.”


And that is that. To Mommy and Daddy’s room we go to finish off the masterful finale of my show. All I need is for them to fall back asleep, then I’ll let out a few more cutie tooties to keep them gagging until morning.


Hehehe, this’ll be fun!


PHFTHWRP!


Wait, what in the…


PHFTHWRP!


Ach! Oh, no!


PHFTHWRP!


Oh, please! Get him away from me!


“Did you just toot on our daughter?” Mommy leans over and gasps.


Without hesitation, Daddy replies, “What? She tooted on me first.”

 

 

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