A toot in the face

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 As Logged By:


Agent Chase


Nothing could ever compare

To something so simple, but not rare.

A toot in the face will leave Mommy crying

Especially when Daddy laughs like he’s dying.

He’s laughing so hard

He’s let down his guard.

Now, here comes baby Chase,

Ready with a toot in his face!

 

 

Eating as quickly as can be is not my style. I like to enjoy each bite and savor the flavor, but this diabolical mastermind is on a mission. One that’s almost ready to explode.


I feel the gas bubbling down my tummy. Where is Mommy hiding?


“Wah!” I yell and wait to see if that does the trick.


“What is it, Sweetie?” Mommy asks as she comes into the room, never once sensing that she’s falling into my trap.


Daddy follows right behind. “Is everything okay?” He asks. Neither one of them noticing that I’m preparing to aim.


“Maybe she just…”


FFPPPHHHRRRRRRRTTTTTT!


“UGH!” Mommy cries. “Right in my face.”


Her face pinches so tight that I wonder if it’ll collapse. Her nose crinkling into multiple beyond multiple of wrinkles.


“Chase! That stinks. What did you eat?”


“Franks and beans,” Daddy chuckles, which he tries to hide with a pretend cough. Until those chuckles grow into snickers.


They grow and grow, so that even I forget about having a successful mission. A toot in Mommy’s face, check! But, what is this? Now, Daddy’s throwing his head back in full blown, howling laughter.


“It isn’t funny,” Mommy grumbles, the pinch of stink morphing into a boiling anger glare


“Yes, it is!” Daddy shouts out with more laughter. He’s laughing so hard that he’s doubling over. Onto the floor Daddy plops, grabbing his sides with tears moistening his eyes. He’s laughing and laughing, like a train roaring and snorting.


Mommy sets me down, her glare never veering from Daddy.


“Get him,” she growls.


Will do, Mommy. Will do.


I crawl my way over, feeling some more gas moving down my belly as I do. Daddy’s still laughing like crazy, his eyes squeezed shut so tight that he never sees me coming.


Here it comes. I need to get into position.


“Oh, I’m sorry, Honey. It was just too fun…”


FFPPPHHHRRRRRRRTTTTTT!


“UGH!” Daddy cries. “Right in my face.”


Mommy’s lips curl with a smirk. “You’re right. That is funny.”


Mission accomplished.


Not once, but twice! 

 

Upcoming Log:  Night of the diabolical snores

Previous Log:  Diabolical greens

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