Did Daddy blame the teddy bear?

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 As Logged By:


Agent Rose


A burp exploded very loudly

That would have me beaming proudly.

Except I was fast asleep.

Never did I make a peep.


Teddy bear burp like that?

Never! I’d bet my hat.

Guilty Daddy needs to confess,

Before Teddy Bear toots a stinky mess.

 

 

What was that?


UUUGGGGHHHH!


I lift my head and blink not once, but thrice. Something has woken me up!?  But, this is nap time. This diabolical sweetie is supposed to sleep at nap time.


UUUGGGGHHHH!


Is there an emergency? Has something catastrophic happened?


I groggily look around, still exhausted and wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep, but all I see is Daddy standing in the kitchen. A soda bottle in his hand.


“Oh,” he smiles when he sees me looking at him. “Are you already awake, Sweetie? You normally don’t wake up for another half an hour.”


I know that, Daddy. But, something (hint, it’s you!) has woken me up.


I set my glare and wait for him to confess. I know what that sound was. I know exactly what it was.


“What?” Daddy pretends to be innocent. One look at the soda bottle in his hand and he knows I’m on to him. “No! I didn’t wake you up. I couldn’t have.”


“We all heard you burp,” Mommy declares from across the house.


“That wasn’t me. It was…”


Daddy darts his head around, searching frantically for someone to blame. A rather difficult task when there is no one else but Mommy and the grumpy baby.


“It was… Rosie’s teddy bear. Yes, the teddy bear made that noise.”


“The teddy bear?”


The teddy bear?


It couldn’t be. I’d bet my hat… Do I have a hat?


Never mind! I know my delightful, little fart teddy didn’t do it. He only toots when I give him a squeeze, and those toots come with a stench worthy of Agent West’s craziness.


“I promise, it had to be that teddy bear. It wasn’t me.”


You’re lying Daddy and you seem to forget.


No one blames my adorable, little, stinky teddy.


Time for Daddy to confess.


And I know just what to do. My lower lip trembles, my eyes grow rounder.


“WAH!”


“Oh, no!” Daddy runs to my nap time bed and lifts me into his arms. “There, there, little Rosie. I’m sorry your teddy bear woke you up.”


THAT’S IT!


I sling teddy’s fluffy butt right into Daddy’s face.


PHFT!


“Oh, ewe. Honey, help me. Rosie’s teddy just farted again.”


“That’s odd.” I hear Mommy laugh. “That sounded nothing like the exploding burp that woke Rosie up.”


PHFT!


“Ewe, it did it again!”


Confess, Daddy, confess.


PHFT!


“Alright, alright,” Daddy gags. “I did it. I woke you up with my burp.”


That’s a good Daddy and always remember.


Never blame my teddy bear.

 

 Upcoming log:  A diabolical truce

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