Did Daddy blame the teddy bear?

-

 As Logged By:


Agent Rose


A burp exploded very loudly

That would have me beaming proudly.

Except I was fast asleep.

Never did I make a peep.


Teddy bear burp like that?

Never! I’d bet my hat.

Guilty Daddy needs to confess,

Before Teddy Bear toots a stinky mess.

 

 

What was that?


UUUGGGGHHHH!


I lift my head and blink not once, but thrice. Something has woken me up!?  But, this is nap time. This diabolical sweetie is supposed to sleep at nap time.


UUUGGGGHHHH!


Is there an emergency? Has something catastrophic happened?


I groggily look around, still exhausted and wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep, but all I see is Daddy standing in the kitchen. A soda bottle in his hand.


“Oh,” he smiles when he sees me looking at him. “Are you already awake, Sweetie? You normally don’t wake up for another half an hour.”


I know that, Daddy. But, something (hint, it’s you!) has woken me up.


I set my glare and wait for him to confess. I know what that sound was. I know exactly what it was.


“What?” Daddy pretends to be innocent. One look at the soda bottle in his hand and he knows I’m on to him. “No! I didn’t wake you up. I couldn’t have.”


“We all heard you burp,” Mommy declares from across the house.


“That wasn’t me. It was…”


Daddy darts his head around, searching frantically for someone to blame. A rather difficult task when there is no one else but Mommy and the grumpy baby.


“It was… Rosie’s teddy bear. Yes, the teddy bear made that noise.”


“The teddy bear?”


The teddy bear?


It couldn’t be. I’d bet my hat… Do I have a hat?


Never mind! I know my delightful, little fart teddy didn’t do it. He only toots when I give him a squeeze, and those toots come with a stench worthy of Agent West’s craziness.


“I promise, it had to be that teddy bear. It wasn’t me.”


You’re lying Daddy and you seem to forget.


No one blames my adorable, little, stinky teddy.


Time for Daddy to confess.


And I know just what to do. My lower lip trembles, my eyes grow rounder.


“WAH!”


“Oh, no!” Daddy runs to my nap time bed and lifts me into his arms. “There, there, little Rosie. I’m sorry your teddy bear woke you up.”


THAT’S IT!


I sling teddy’s fluffy butt right into Daddy’s face.


PHFT!


“Oh, ewe. Honey, help me. Rosie’s teddy just farted again.”


“That’s odd.” I hear Mommy laugh. “That sounded nothing like the exploding burp that woke Rosie up.”


PHFT!


“Ewe, it did it again!”


Confess, Daddy, confess.


PHFT!


“Alright, alright,” Daddy gags. “I did it. I woke you up with my burp.”


That’s a good Daddy and always remember.


Never blame my teddy bear.

 

 Upcoming log:  A diabolical truce

 Previous log:  The Diabolical Legend of Tickling

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Diabolical cabbage and beans

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent Chase With   The Puppy The Puppy was right, I admit There was no way to go through with it. Getting everyone to eat cabbage and beans Would have been impossible, by all means. However, we’ve devised another plan. In this temporary truce between dog and man. The Puppy has many friends, you see. Who are willing to eat cabbage and beans, whoo wee!     For weeks I have been saving every scrap of Mommy’s famous cabbage and beans dish, keeping none for myself.  (Not that I want any after the last gas catastrophe.) The toy bin is filled to the rim and it’s starting to smell, but the Puppy reassures me that his friends will still dig in. “Oh, Marge, this was a wonderful idea,” one of Mommy’s friends says as she waves her hand around. “A block party for everyone and their dog. How did you think of it?” “It’s the funniest thing. I saw Chase playing with a magazine that happened to have an article about thro...
Read more

Throwing food? I'll give it a try!

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent Rose Please! Don’t mention eating. Not after Agent Chase’s stink infested beating. Cabbage and beans! Were there no other ways? The stink never ended for days and days! My tummy is tumbling and swirling. I fear anything I eat, I’ll end up hurling. But, I do love being a sweetie that’s diabolical. Especially, when I can do something so maniacal!     Agent Chase is going to get a stink bomb in the face! Joining with the Puppy!? Of all the diabolical schemes. She should have known that teaming up with the Puppy would make her diabolical plans explode. “Okay, Rosie. Time for some dinner.” Dinner? No way! My tummy is still too tender for any dinner. “Come on, Sweetie. You need to eat or you’ll get grumpy.” I stare at Daddy with the angriest of angry faces. Grumpy!? Does he have any idea what horrors I’ve been through? Just thinking of it makes my tummy tumble some more. The stink...
Read more

Diabolically stealing my leftovers

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent West I could have sworn there was more stew With delicious beef that cleared my blues. But when Mommy opened the fridge There was none for me to binge! What about a grilled cheese? Smashed, loaded, and coated to please. Is there any more of that? Or is Mommy sneaking some in her hat?     Oh, the hunger pains. The growling tummy, the rumbling stomach. If I don’t eat soon, the gas will come forth. Not the funny toots in Mommy’s face gas, either. But, painful, stuck in your tummy and refusing to come out or budge gas that can only be cured with chamomile tea. Agent Rose may love it, but I’m a diabolical dude! I want my beef stew! Where is it, Mommy? Don’t make me beg. Don’t make me cry. Don’t make me let out a toot that’ll knock your socks to the moon! “Are you hungry, West?” Mommy coos, completely oblivious to the hungry beast about to be unleashed. “Ah!” I let out as a warning and point ...
Read more