The Diabolical Legend of Tickling

 As Logged By:

Agent Chase

This story starts once upon a time,

A villain committed a dastardly crime.

He tickled everyone near and far

With tickling powers that were most bizarre.

Until the day everyone was saved

When he became a statue and sent to his grave.

But someone accidentally pushed the lever

For his powers to take over parents’ minds forever!

 

 

One can’t blame parents for their crazy need to tickle us babies until we toot, poop, and scream. Their minds are being controlled by the powers of the villainous Mr. Tickle Toes!

Long ago, hundreds and hundreds of years… or so, the evil Mr. Tickle Toes raced from town to town, wreaking havoc worse than a horde of clowns. Into the shops, the castles, the houses he would sneak and tickle his victims until they shrieked!

“Please, no more tickling,” they would beg. “I can’t take it. I’m going to faint!”

He caused so much mayhem that the kingdoms came together.

“We must stop this Mr. Tickle Toes or every kingdom in this countryside, no… In this world will fall.”

Knights galloped through the lands. Wherever a tickling shriek was heard, to there they ran. Day and night, winter and summer. Not one of them slept until they found the villainous Mr. Tickle Toes.

The evil fiend never saw them coming. For one sly baby had a plan hidden in their nappy. When the fool dared to slip into the candle shop, the baby was ready with a toot to pop. As soon as the tickling fingers came within an inch of the babe, the diabolical tyke let one rip. A stink filled the candle shop, leaving everyone gagging in fright.

Holding their noses, the knights charged in. There they found Mr. Tickle Toes passed out and a baby with a grin.

Twenty-five kingdoms came together to sentence Mr. Tickle Toes to become a statue forever!

But that was not enough. Oh, no.

Soon those who came close to the old villain’s statue started feeling the urge, the need to tickle some helpless baby until they screamed.

“His powers are sneaking out from the statue’s cracks.” Shouted the king. “We simply can’t have this!”

They buried the statue far beneath the ground, in a long forgotten dungeon so that he’d never be found. But, never say never. For one unfortunate day, a lone tourist was visiting that kingdom by the bay.

With the people long gone, there was no one around to warn this tourist of what should never be found.

“What’s this?” The young tourist asked when he found a lever.

Giving it a push, he knew not what he was doing. With a rusty creak, a hidden gate opened. Just a crack, barely a hair. But it was enough to let old Mr. Tickle Toes’ powers start to seep out.

“I need to get home,” the tourist suddenly cried with a shout. His eyes darted about, his lips twitching as if going mad. “Right away I shall go and give my baby a tickle. Yes… I must tickle my baby until she can take no more.”

Off the mad man dashed, leaving the gate open and letting Mr. Tickling Toes’ tickling powers continue to seep out. Little by little, one by one our parents’ minds have been taken over, so that they must tickle their babies until one hopeful day that someone finds that lever and closes that gate!

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