A diabolical toot and a cute kick, too

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 As Logged By:


Agent Rose


A girls’ shopping trip sounded fun,

Until Mommy put my diaper on.

I know how to use the potty!

Is she afraid I’ll make a squatty?


No, I don’t want any manicotti!

I want to show you my karate.

Watch out! Here comes a great big toot

Right when she’s putting on my boot.

 

 

I can’t decide if I’m excited and delighted, or cranky and angry.


Mommy is taking me to the mall! That part I’m excited about. There we’ll stop at the candy store and the toy store. We’ll detour through the food mart, possibly picking up some delightfully cheesy manicotti along the way, to get us to the kids play area, where I can crawl and climb over sunny side up eggs and long strips of bacon.


Ah, yes! Going to the mall will be such, such fun.


Why, then, am I cranky and angry?


Take one guess. One wrapped on, uncomfy, diaper-should-not-be-there guess.


Yes, Mommy has decide to play it safe and has covered my adorably tooty booty with a diaper!


I’ve been using the potty since I was two months old, I don’t need a diaper.


But, she’s strapped one to my bum and there’s nothing I can do about it.


Oh, the humility!


“Are you looking forward to getting some manicotti, Rosie?” Mommy excitedly asks as she helps get my clothes on.


No, Mommy! No, I don’t want any manicotti.


Not anymore.


Not when you’ve put a diaper on me!


WACK!


“OW!” Mommy squeals after I let a kick fly. Right on the chin. “She kicked me,” Mommy complains by calling out to Daddy.


“I’m sure she didn’t mean to kick you deliberately.”


No, not deliberately…


DIABOLICALLY!


I upper cut with my left. I round house with my right. Take that and that.


Mommy steps back and watches my limbs fly. But, this cutie’s still a baby. Soon enough, I’m too tired to flail or kick or any of that.


Thinking it’s safe, Mommy comes closer again. “What has gotten you so worked up!?” She asks as she slips on one of my boots.


Oh, if only you could imagine.


Except...


Now, something else is bothering me. Something needs to come out and it’s not about to wait.


PPHHHHFFFRRRTTTTHHHHTTT!


“Ugh, Rosie!” Mommy pinches her nose. “I just put your diaper on.”


Yes, and now it is full, full, full.


“You’re going to be fussy the whole time if I don’t change you. Aren’t you?”


Mommy takes a deep breath and goes in to change me.


PPHHHFFRRTTHHT!


“Ugh, Rosie! That was right in my face.”


Hehe!


Now, I’m ready for some manicotti.


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