A Diabolical Trick or Treat

 As Logged By:

Agent West

Mommy’s dressed me as a bunny

And I don’t find it all funny.

Sure, the legend sounds really cool,

But did she have to go so old school?

Cousin JimJim thinks he can laugh

Even though he’s dressed as a giraffe.

How would he like some worms in his bag?

Watch out! He’s starting to gag.

 

 

A diabolical bunny, I could do…

One that looks eerie and menacing, just like the ones in the marshmallow bunny legend. Yes, I could dress as one of those. Especially, for Halloween and, especially, for candy!

But, do I look like a diabolical bunny? Do my eyes glow red? Do I have fake teeth that look like fangs?

NO!

My cute ears flop in haphazard directions and my tail is fluffy white. There’s a little pink dot on each cheek and this bunny nose tied to my face tickles with way too many whiskers.

I. Look. So. CUTE!!!

I’m a diabolical dude! What will Agent Chase think. What will…

What will Agent Rose think?

Oh, no! She can’t see me like this. Not even for all of the chocolate in the world.

“You look so adorable!” Mommy chuckles and pinches my cheek.

Not funny, Mommy. Not funny at all.

I’ll get her for dressing me like this. When she least expects it, Kapow! I’ll send an extra stinky toot right at her.

“Here you go,” she keeps giggling. “Here’s your cute, little basket. Now you look like a proper bunny.”

She sets me into the kiddie wagon and pulls me down the sidewalk. The whole time, I make sure to frown. No cutsie smiles from this diabolical baby. Not when I look like an innocent, little bunny.

Ha Ha! You’re a cute bunny!

I stretch my frown even further down. Cousin JimJim’s wagon pulls up beside mine. We glare at each other and blow a few spit bubbles, too.

You have a fluffy white tail!

Says the baby with a giraffe face on top of his head, I snot right back.

Cousin JimJim sticks out his tongue. I still look cooler than you. Look out, here comes your little Rosie.

I jerk my head to the left, I throw it to the right. Where is she? Where is Agent Rose?

Ha Ha! Made you look!

My baby hands ball into fists. Cousin JimJim laughs so hard that he falls over.

“Oh, no. Jimmy, are you okay?”

Mommy and her sister check on Cousin JimJim. Now’s my chance! Before they can catch me, I sneak out of my wagon. Inch by inch I crawl over the edge. Inch by inch I slide down to the ground.

There’s the neighbor’s newly dug flower bed, not three feet away. I quickly scoot my bunny fluffed legs over to the fresh dirt. Is anyone peeking? Not yet!

I smack my hand down, secretly enjoying how the dirt poofs in its own mini explosion. One handful, then two.

There’s the worms!

I grab as many as my baby hand can carry. Crawling back as fast as a baby can, I make it to the wagons just as Mommy and Auntie are adjusting Cousin JimJim’s giraffe head.

Into his bucket go the worms. Just in time for me to widen my eyes and innocently glance up at Mommy.

“West, how on earth did you get down there?”

She sits me back in the wagon and Cousin JimJim sticks out his tongue.

Fluffy bunny, I bet you don’t have one of these.

He sticks his hand into his bucket. Does he find a piece of candy, though?

No, no, no.

“WAHHHHHH!” He shrieks and throws a worm into the air. The poor creepy crawly flew all the way up to land on the giraffe’s head.

“Jimmy, what’s wrong?”

“He looks like he’s about to be sick.”

BLLLAAAEEEEECCCHHHHH!

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