A Diabolical Turkey Lurking

 As Logged By:

Agent Chase

I hear Gobbles gobbling close by.

He’s sneaking closer to the pie.

Will he try to eat it?

Or, is he going to fling it?

A crazy turkey is on the loose.

Not to be confused with the plastic goose.

Does he think we’re going to eat him?

When we really want to keep him!

Thanksgiving is fast approaching, which means that Mommy and Daddy are running around like crazy.

I’ve tried throwing stink bombs in their paths, I’ve tried letting out toots with stinky gas. But, they’re too wired to notice anything.

Not even the sauerkraut I stealthily slipped into their coffee!

Gobble, gobble.

There’s that noise again…

I heard it last night before I went to bed. This diabolical mastermind knows something is afoot. Someone is sneaking around. Someone is watching me. I can feel it in my diaper.

I look to the left.

I look to the right.

But, I can’t find anything from behind this play pen.

“Where is he?!” Mommy runs in the room and out again. “I can’t find him anywhere!”

Gobble, gobble.

“I think I hear him,” Daddy calls from the kitchen.

That’s when I see it!

The feathered fiend tiptoes across the floor. He slides under the kitchen table and huddles behind a pile of paper towel rolls.

“Ah!” I yell and point at the little villain. He tilts his head and glares a beady eye my way.

Tattle Tale! He seems to say.

But, Mommy and Daddy pay no attention to me. They race around the corner to search in the dinning room, where they will inevitably come up empty.

The little gobbler pokes his head out from under the table. He makes sure the coast is clear, and hops onto the counter. Right beside the blackberry pie.

Peck, peck, he nibbles and eats.

“I found him!” Mommy screams, sending the tiny turkey flapping and dancing.

Zoom, goes the pie. Through the air and over the chair.

Mommy ducks in time, but that pie splats right in unsuspecting Daddy’s face.

Hehe, I like this little turkey.

Into the living room he flitters on his little stick figure legs that look too tiny to support his growing body.

“Hurry, before he gets away!” Daddy yells, though he can’t see a thing.

This time I don’t clue them in. I watch as this possible turkey friend sneaks beside a decorative goose. Just like the plastic figurine, he freezes and holds perfectly still while Mommy and Daddy search to no avail. That baby turkey is hidden from their sight, by hiding in plain sight.

I’m impressed. I really am. Maybe this deviously diabolical baby could use a pet, a turkey friend who’s as delightful as I am.

As soon as Mommy and Daddy clear the room, the little turkey makes a bee line for my pen. Into my arms, he jumps just as Mommy returns.

“There he is,” she sighs. “Oh, look Chase. He’s shaking. Are you scared, little Gobbles?”

Gobbles?

I like that name.

Why are you scared, my new friend, Gobbles?

“I bet he thinks that we’re planning to eat him. Don’t worry little fella, we have no plans to eat you.”

“We prefer ham,” Daddy explains.

Mmm, ham does sound good.

Gobble, gobble, he calls out and ducks his head under my arm.

“I think someone wants to be your pet, Chase.”

Yes, my diabolical pet turkey. Every diabolical mastermind needs a sneaky pet and I’ve found just the one.

Watch out, Puppy! Here comes Gobbles.

 

Upcoming Log:  Diabolical Christmas Music and Delicious Turkey Legs

Previous Log:  The Marshmallow Grandma Strikes Back