Being Diabolical with the Dirty Diaper Pail

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 As Logged By:


Agent West


Another dirty diaper is tossed into the pail

After a poopy so stinky, it made Mommy wail.

It doesn't look all that full.

Could it fit Mommy's sweater, the one made of wool?


That's not enough, I'll give it some more.

A wallet, a purse, those pearls they adore.

Next this bowl of chocolate pudding cake.

Wait!  Pudding cake?  Time for a break.


"Ugh, West!"  Mommy shrieks between gasps.  "This one's the worst," she coughs and gasps.
 
Hehe!
 
I may have sneaked some cabbage and beans and I may have added a stink bomb...
 
Or three.
 
Mommy's eyes water.  Her nose crinkles.  Still, she works as fast as she can to get the dirty diaper off and into the diaper pail.  
 
"Whew," she sighs once the atrocity is gone.  "West, you're pushing it.  I know that stink wasn't just something you pooped out, little man."
 
You may be right, but I've moved on from that diabolical success.  Now, my sights are on that diaper pail.
 
How does it hide so much smell?  
 
What happens to the diapers once they're thrown in there.  Is there something that burns them to smithereens?  Or do baby monsters eat every last bit?

My curiosity has gotten to me.  This diabolical dude must know!

I give Mommy a smile.  She doesn't buy it for a second.  "I'm watching you," she warns before leaving the room.

A fresh diaper on my rear, I'm ready for an adventure.

To the diaper pail, I go!  

Hmm...

I can't really see anything from down here.  Especially, when the opening is way up there.

Giant building blocks will do the trick.  I scoot one over, then two.  Stacking them one by one, until I have a nicely perfect stairway that leads me right to the diaper pail's top.

I climb my way up, I look at the flappy door that Mommy throws my dirty diapers into.  

SMACK!

I hit it with my hand and watch as the door flaps back and forth.  

Seems pretty safe.  I stick my arm out, I lift up the door, I peak inside.

Yuck!  It stinks in there.

But...

It's barely half full.  This thing needs to be filled.  To the rim, to the top!

It needs some extra goodies, 'cause I can't soil that many diapers.  Not even if I tried.

Hey, Mommy forgot her sweater.  Ech, this wool itches whenever I touch it.  How can Mommy like wearing it?  

I know, I'll throw it in the diaper pail.  If it's good enough for my dirty diapers, then why not this wool sweater?

I stuff the itchy thing through the flappy door and giggle as it falls right on the freshly poopy diaper Mommy just threw in there.  

What else can I add?

A search through the house finds Daddy's wallet and Mommy's purse.  What about the pearl necklace they're always oohing and ahhing at?  It certainly could use a touch of poopy.

I stuff and I heave.  This diaper pail is getting pretty full. 

But, there's still room for one more.

What can it be?

Hey!  What about this chocolate pudding cake?  That would give the pail a nice finish!  A satisfying plop.  A glop and a...

Wait.  A.  Minute.
 
Chocolate pudding cake???!!!!!???!!!???!!!
 
Time for a break!
 
"Honey, have you seen my wallet?"
 
"No, have you seen my purse?"
 
I'll tell Agent Chase about my success.  But, first, I'm having some dessert.
 
 
 

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