Diabolical Christmas Music and Delicious Turkey Legs

-

 As Logged By:

Agent Rose


I do love a good turkey leg

If it's fried, I'll even beg.

But, Auntie P has gone batty

Dancing to Christmas music with Catty


It's starting to get on my nerves.

All those dips, trips, and swerves.

How am I to enjoy my turkey

When she is acting so quirky?


Mmm, Mmm, Mmm...

Thanksgiving, here I come!

Mommy has set the dining table and, even, gave me a special spot just to the side of the premier head seat.  That can only mean one thing!

I get a turkey leg!

Uncle Fred has used his fryer, much to Auntie P's protests, and now that turkey is delicious, and moist, and crispy, and yummy, and I.  Am.  So.  Ready.  For.  This.

I even set aside my diabolicalness.  All just to make sure that I get a perfectly amazing turkey leg.

"I know what this table needs," Auntie P announces before the family can say grace.  "We need some Christmas music!"

"Why?"  Daddy groans, followed by Mommy, Uncle Fred, and the rest. 

"Shouldn't we wait until after we're done eating the Thanksgiving meal?"  Uncle Fred hints, his eyes darting down to the turkey still waiting to be carved.

"Nonsense!  Let's get our Christmas music on." 

Auntie P rushes out of the room to grab her old CDs and dust off a few.  Uncle Fred holds his carving knives in the air, unsure if he should wait or go ahead and carve the turkey without his wife.

"Haha!"  Auntie P screams just as Run Run Rudolph starts blasting on the speakers.

Out jumps the crazy, old batty with a set of antlers on her head.  The lights attached blink and flash so bright, that I'm seeing spots before my eyes.  She's dancing around the room, completely ignoring the family and most of all...

What about the TURKEY!?

I feel a muscle twitch.  This diabolical sweetie won't put up with much more of this.  

"Dance with me Catty!"  Auntie P calls out to her cat.  The old tabby doesn't stand a chance as he's whisked away and spun around the room.

I'm pretty sure I can hear a few hisses.

Uncle Fred lowers one knife and I feel another muscle twitch.

NO!

I will not allow my crazy Auntie P to destroy the most glorious, delicious turkey in the world.  

I skittle and scoot until I'm free from my chair.  Down to the floor I plop, thankful for the diaper Mommy decided to put on at the last minute.  I may have fought it, I may have complained.  I am potty trained, after all, but it padded my fall and, now, I don't have a bruise.

Over to the diaper bag I crawl.  I reach my chubby, little arm in and search and search.  

Come on!

I know he's in here somewhere.

Aha!

There's my stink teddy.  The very one my amazing West made for me.  

While no one's watching, I crawl over toward Auntie P.  Be careful!  She's spinning around so fast that she's knocked down the priceless hourglass.  

"Rosie," Mommy calls when she sees me.  "Watch out!"

"Ooh, does baby Rosie want to dance with me?"

Auntie P must not have learned her lesson the first time.  For as soon as she picks me up, I give my stinky teddy a squeeze.

PPPHHHHHFFFFTRRTRRTTTTT!

"UGH!"  Auntie P yells.  "That smell is atrocious."

PPPPHHHHHHFFFFFTTTTTHHHHHRRRRRTTTTTT!

Before she can set me down I give my teddy a big, long squeeze.

"AH!  It's in my mouth!"

Out of the room, Auntie P runs.  And, just as casually as the trained spy that I am, I crawl my way back over to the dining table.  As everyone stares in complete disbelief, I hike and I pull and get back up to my special seat.
 
Uncle Fred is too shocked to move, so I give him a nudge.  
 
I hold my stinky teddy up and warn him that I could squeeze, then I point at the turkey and smile, 'pretty please.'
 
"Let's get this turkey carved," Uncle Fred toasts.  "And let's give the first turkey leg to our amazing Rosie."
 
Ahh, nothing like a delicious turkey leg.
 
 
 
 Previous Log:  A Diabolical Turkey Lurking


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Diabolical cabbage and beans

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent Chase With   The Puppy The Puppy was right, I admit There was no way to go through with it. Getting everyone to eat cabbage and beans Would have been impossible, by all means. However, we’ve devised another plan. In this temporary truce between dog and man. The Puppy has many friends, you see. Who are willing to eat cabbage and beans, whoo wee!     For weeks I have been saving every scrap of Mommy’s famous cabbage and beans dish, keeping none for myself.  (Not that I want any after the last gas catastrophe.) The toy bin is filled to the rim and it’s starting to smell, but the Puppy reassures me that his friends will still dig in. “Oh, Marge, this was a wonderful idea,” one of Mommy’s friends says as she waves her hand around. “A block party for everyone and their dog. How did you think of it?” “It’s the funniest thing. I saw Chase playing with a magazine that happened to have an article about thro...
Read more

Throwing food? I'll give it a try!

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent Rose Please! Don’t mention eating. Not after Agent Chase’s stink infested beating. Cabbage and beans! Were there no other ways? The stink never ended for days and days! My tummy is tumbling and swirling. I fear anything I eat, I’ll end up hurling. But, I do love being a sweetie that’s diabolical. Especially, when I can do something so maniacal!     Agent Chase is going to get a stink bomb in the face! Joining with the Puppy!? Of all the diabolical schemes. She should have known that teaming up with the Puppy would make her diabolical plans explode. “Okay, Rosie. Time for some dinner.” Dinner? No way! My tummy is still too tender for any dinner. “Come on, Sweetie. You need to eat or you’ll get grumpy.” I stare at Daddy with the angriest of angry faces. Grumpy!? Does he have any idea what horrors I’ve been through? Just thinking of it makes my tummy tumble some more. The stink...
Read more

Diabolically stealing my leftovers

-
Image
 As Logged By: Agent West I could have sworn there was more stew With delicious beef that cleared my blues. But when Mommy opened the fridge There was none for me to binge! What about a grilled cheese? Smashed, loaded, and coated to please. Is there any more of that? Or is Mommy sneaking some in her hat?     Oh, the hunger pains. The growling tummy, the rumbling stomach. If I don’t eat soon, the gas will come forth. Not the funny toots in Mommy’s face gas, either. But, painful, stuck in your tummy and refusing to come out or budge gas that can only be cured with chamomile tea. Agent Rose may love it, but I’m a diabolical dude! I want my beef stew! Where is it, Mommy? Don’t make me beg. Don’t make me cry. Don’t make me let out a toot that’ll knock your socks to the moon! “Are you hungry, West?” Mommy coos, completely oblivious to the hungry beast about to be unleashed. “Ah!” I let out as a warning and point ...
Read more