Diabolical Sibling Rivalry and a Deer Leg

 As Logged By:

Agent Chase

Agent Chase's Mom

The holidays are an interesting time

Where families get together and enjoy key lime.

It's also a time of sibling rivalry.

And, this time, I've brought the cavalry.

My sister thinks she can embarrass me.

But, Gobbles has given me reason to say, "We'll see."

A random deer leg in the woods?

Gross!  Hmm... What interesting goods.

How is it that I always love the holidays: the family coming together, the cold weather nipping at my nose, the hot chocolate, the laughter, the merriment, the decorative beauty.

And, at the same time, I can’t stand them!

This morning is no different. I’m standing outside, knowing that my baby Chase is planning something diabolical to frazzle more of my hair, yet what is really on my mind is my sister.

And our rivalry…

Did she have to embarrass me last night? It was supposed to be a fun game night for the family. Instead, she got everyone laughing at me as she brought up some embarrassing story from so long ago that I had actually forgotten about it.

“Gobbles!” I call and whistle for the young turkey, who had yet to return from playing in the woods. “Gobbles!” I call again.

Do I care that my sister made fun of me all last night about having a pet turkey?

No. I like Gobbles and I don’t care what my sister thinks.

Am I nervous because my dad’s huge Chow dog, Tank, took a liking to Gobbles and might have followed him into the woods?

Yes. Yes, I am.

I’M TERRIFIED!

“Gobbles!” I practically yell when neither dog nor turkey make an appearance. Please don’t have anything happen to Gobbles. Not after Chase declared the little turkey as her pet.

A flash of fiery red has me jerking my head to the left. I instantly release a sigh. There’s the large Chow, with a huge stick in his mouth. Standing proudly on the stick and enjoying the ride as Tank drags the enormous thing behind him, is none other than little, adorable Gobbles.

He flaps his wings and gives a, “gobble!”

Meanwhile, I furrow my brow and tilt my head.

“That’s a weird looking stick.”

A tree limb with kinked angles in its, otherwise, straight shape is nothing new. However, it’s the way the kinks seem able to bend and straighten without the stick breaking that doesn’t make sense.

“What in the world did you two find?”

That’s when my breath stops cold and my eyes become glued to the supposed stick as I realize exactly what it is.

“Where did you… How did you… What are you two doing with a deer leg?”

Tank drops the leg on the ground in front of me. With his gift perfectly presented, he sits back and pants proudly. Gobbles jumps on his shoulders and, together, they wait for my compliment.

“A fresh deer leg,” I gurgle through a woozy feeling in my stomach.

“Woof!”

“Gobble!”

Gobbles looks to the house. A sneaky gleam in his eye. One that oddly matches Chase’s just before she pulls some diabolical stunt.

That’s when my lips spread with a mischievous smirk.

Debra…

My sister does owe me. Especially, after last night.

The mischievous smirk grows into a maniacal laugh. “Good boy, Tank. Good boy, Gobbles. You’re very good boys.”

Eyes darting about, I pick up the deer leg with a grunt. I slowly slide the living room’s glass door open, making sure not to make a sound.

There’s my sister on the couch, completely absorbed with a rerun of Golden Girls.

Tip toe. Tip toe.

Now that I’m right behind my sister, I carefully lift the deer leg and, without uttering a word, tap the hoof against Debra’s shoulder.

“What is it?” She asks without turning away from the tv.

I tap her shoulder again.

“What?” An annoyed Debra spins her head around, so that her nose comes within an inch of the leg’s hairy ankle. Her eyes bulge, her body shakes. First with hairline quivers, then in uncontrollable spasms.

All leading up to the deafening scream that roars out with the bellow of a runaway train.

I drop the deer leg and cover my ears as Tank runs from the room with Gobbles on his shoulders, flapping madly to help propel them to go faster.

Every muscle surrounding Debra’s lungs is pushed to failure as her scream shatters glass, wakes the dead only to kill them again, and, somewhere on the other side of the world, an avalanche falls.

When her body can finally take no more, Debra’s scream dies away into a large, heaving groan. Though she starts to slump, my sister suddenly freezes. Bolting up from the couch, she runs to the bathroom.

“You made me pee my pants!” She yells loud enough for the whole family to hear.

 

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