A Diabolical Toot Debate

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 As Logged By:


Agent West

 

This job is usually left to Agent Chase.

But, today, Agent West is on the case.

 Cousin JimJim wants to debate me

About something I excel at, he'll see.

 

The origin of toots?

What a complete and diabolical hoot!

 If I don't knock him out in the debate

I'll throw him a stink he'll really hate. 


My glare is set on Cousin JimJim, while my hand hides a stretchy ball disguised stink bomb.
 
Oh, look.  It's the cousin who always smells like a wet diaper, I sneer.
 
Cousin JimJim sticks his tongue out at me.  At least I don't look like one.  Admit it, you're wrong and you know it.
 
I laugh at the thought.

There's no possible way JimJim is right.  There's no way that toots are globs of poopy sent down an assembly line where toot elves chop them into itty bitty pieces.  Right?  There couldn't possibly be toot elves hiding inside of me!  That's too crazy a thought, even for Cousin JimJim's imagination.
 
I throw my head with a strong shake.
 
Cousin JimJim laughs in response.  Stinky gas is way too easy.  If toots are nothing more than gas, then why do they smell so bad?
 
He's got me there.  Man, I wish Agent Chase was here.  She'd have an answer for that.
 
But, if toots are just chopped up globs of poopy...  If Cousin JimJim is right that the toot elves load the chopped poopy into their cannon and shoot the toots out...  
 
Why are toots invisible, then?  I dare him to explain.  
 
Because, I told you.  The toot elves chop them super small.  Too small for us to see.
 
I shake my head again.  No way that's correct.
 
I've let out way too many toots to not see anything when Mommy has to check my diaper.  Trust me, some of them smelled worse than a real poopy.
 
Besides, I know that toots are nothing more than trapped gas.  That's how we give our stink bombs a stink that lasts!  
 
Aha!
 
An idea hits me.
 
If toots were made of chopped poopy, then the Diabolical Baby Brigade couldn't make our infamous stink bombs without poopy.
 
But, Cousin JimJim just smirks.  You're stink bombs don't work.  They're nothing but little toys.
 
Does he wanna bet?
 
I roll the stink bomb around in my hand.  My smile creeps up my cheeks and it's the first time Cousin JimJim isn't smirking at me.
 
POOF!
 
"WAAHHHH  WWAAAHHHH!"  Cousin JimJim recoils from the stink, which is more than bad.
 
Even my eyes are watering, but it's all worth it.  
 
I give!  I give!  
 
A debate win for sure!
 
 
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